Growing up I saw the worst of entrepreneurism.  The worry over invoices being paid, the relentless hours working, the lack of holidays and quality time.  I saw it, and it shaped my childhood.  In the version of entrepreneurship that I grew up among, health and happiness were definitely not high on the priority list, it was all about survival.  And yet, as I spent years working for other people, I couldn’t shake that little niggle of wanting to start my own business.

When you start a business a lot of energy goes into building relationships and saying yes and grabbing opportunities.  When I started my business five years ago my ‘work hard’ drive got the chance to shine, and I started getting addicted to the adrenaline buzz of winning new work and new clients.

When I spoke to other entrepreneurs they talked about boom and bust, which was often brought on because in the times that you were busy with work you didn’t have time to be out looking for the next piece of work.  This meant that when work came in, I didn’t relax, I saw this as the time that I needed to have my eyes open for the next project.  This obviously meant working long hours and constantly thinking about the business, which I believed was just part of being an entrepreneur. 

I don’t think I’m any more driven by money or success than the next person, but I found it hard to break free from a scarcity mindset.  When you are gripped by the scarcity mindset it’s impossible to relax, even when times are good because you just never know what is around the corner (thank you 2020 for that reminder!).  It never occurred to me that maybe I had internalised a template for being an entrepreneur that just wasn’t going to work for me.

In the Spring of 2021, after years of trying to keep up the pace, saying yes to everything, filling every gap in my diary, not booking leave, or just taking leave to look after my daughter and working evenings and weekends to stay on top of things, I finally took responsibility for the damage that my behaviour was having on my physical and mental health.  I realised that I needed to fundamentally rewrite of the rules of my business. 

Even though the critical voice in my head was screaming “who do you think you are to be moaning about working too much, get over yourself.  Give it six months and it’ll all be gone, and you’ll be regretting moaning about it!” I made the bold decision to take the summer off.

When I returned in September. I started a new relationship with my business based on a new set of rules and practices which prioritised my physical and mental health.

These rules include:

• Much stronger boundaries around my time (including non-working Fridays) that gives me time to pursue my own passions (I attend an art class on a Friday morning) and the ability to respond to, or create opportunities are aligned to what’s most important to me.
• Forward planning of my diary, meaning that I book time off in advance, not just hoping that there will be a week without work in that I can take off.
• Building my working hours not just around childcare responsibilities but around the classes and activities that give me energy.  I’ve noticed that many people start a business to have more flexibility, but the flexibility tends to be less about time off and more about working evenings and weekends.
• Having a checklist for saying yes to things and never say yes immediately.
• Reframing a ‘no’ as it being an opportunity for someone who is better suited (in skill or availability) to take on the piece of work.

It’s been six months since I started this new way of relating to my business.  My ‘work hard’ drive is still incredibly strong, but it can’t ignore the positive impact that having protected time off is having on me, my health and my relationships.  I’m painting again, I swim, practice yoga regularly and have quality time with the people I love.

I still love my work, but it doesn’t feel like the number one priority anymore.  This doesn’t mean that there aren’t hard choices to make, and the uncertainty of the future and my income can definitely still trigger me.   

When I feel like I might slip back to my old ways I remind myself of how grateful I am to have the power to shape what my working life looks like and that (even though my mind often disagrees!) it’s ok to create a life that isn’t solely about working hard, that it’s totally ok to build one that prioritises health and happiness too.